Life and divorce can be so tough and unfair. Kids suffer. Parents suffer. What can we ALL possibly do differently? What am I, as an aggressive family law practitioner, doing differently to mitigate the pain and the financial costs? Well, in the last few months, I am doing several things differently to offer more value, greater certainty and to alleviate some of the pain associated with divorce and post-judgment matters. The main purpose of this blog is to let you know you are not alone, you do not have to be alone and no matter what there are remedies for you. In sharing these remedies, I will also elaborate on how may firm may be able to help you or someone you care about.
First, you should know there is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. EVERYONE has their unique challenges. Today is the best day to start from because if you start from anywhere else, chances are you are living in the past and in your head and you are not truly living to arrive at your new goals. So, make today a fresh start. Whether you or ex suffer from mental illness, alcoholism, a recent job loss or are catching up with paying down your debt, you are not alone.
All my life I have been so focused on solutions that they have generally come easy to me. I have even learned to find happiness after losing my dear Mom to suicide almost 30 years ago. As a result of some recent challenges that I have personally endured, I have never been more empathetic or understanding of what its like to not readily have solutions at hand. I could never relate – truly – to someone having anxiety or overwhelming fears until experiencing it for myself. As I continue to evolve as a Dad, Husband, attorney, boss and human being, I get how imperfect I am and how we all need each other. At the same time, we MUST remove as much negative from our lives as possible, including those thoughts of negativity that we sometimes allow to spin in our head.
Here are seven steps you can take to alleviate some of your pain while going through a divorce:
- Go from here. Make today a new day. Stop making yourself wrong for what you did to get here.
- Repeat Step One, Each day and each hour if you have to. Forgive yourself.
- Consider your goals and write them down. Consider by when you want to achieve those goals.
- See a mental health counselor or engage in any activity to help bring you peace.
- Do not define yourself by your ex’s words or actions or the termination of your marriage or by whatever ailment you are enduring.
- Seek help from friends, family, loved ones and anyone that can help you achieve your goals; and
- Work on achieving your goals daily no matter what – even if it means taking a break to fortify yourself for the next day.
A bonus step, which has helped me so much go beyond my recent pain and refocus on giving, growing and living my dreams, is to engage in GRATITUDE.
Be thankful for the good stuff and good people in your life. Be grateful for the accomplishments you have achieved. Take another look at your child or children and focus on what vision you have for your legacy.
As a result of my recent adversity, I have offered financial assistance and arrangements to help with litigation, some pro bono time, I have considered more flat fee arrangements and I am more patient than ever before when I have a client focused on problems. While I have always loved serving others and help families start new chapters, I have never been more cognizant of the uncertainties so many people face. In light of my new awareness, I am spending more time arriving at creative solutions to help my clients manage their uncertainty while being able to afford our joint efforts to achieve their objectives. I have some great reviews on Avvo you may like to check out.
Lastly, I am constantly reminding my clients, friends, family and myself that no matter what the problem, there is always a solution during and after divorce, even if we don’t know it readily.
Thanks for reading. Have a good day!
Scott J. Brook, Esquire
Scott J. Brook P.A.
2855 N. University Drive, Suite #510
Coral Springs, FL 33065